Words that sound rude, but aren't.

Mmmm....Doughnut

Everybody knows who Homer simpson is. If you don't, never mind, just ask a convenient human - they'll tell you.
Homer has a special catchphrase - "Mmmm...Doughnut".
Thinking of this, and the way he says it, it makes the word "doughnut" sound a bit...well, lecherous. This got me thinking, there must be other words that, when said this way, sound absolutely filthy but really have perfectly harmless meanings. Here is my attempt to catalog some of them.

Spatchcock. A spatch-cock is a chicken (or other game bird) cooking method that is exclusively used for roasting and broiling over a grill/spit. The method of preparing the chicken involves slicing out the backbone of the chicken and flattening it out prior to cooking time.

Regina. Latin word for Queen (not a reference to Homersexuals).

Flange. A flange is an external or internal rib, or rim, for strength, as the flange of an iron beam; or for a guide, as the flange of a train wheel; or for attachment to another object, as the flange on the end of a pipe, steam cylinder, etc. Thus a flanged rail is a rail with a flange on one side to keep wheels, etc., from running off. The term "flange" is also used for a kind of tool used to form flanges. The flange is also the underside of a golf club.

Kent. A county in the southeast of England.

Mount. The word mount (from the Latin mons, 'mountain' or hill) has many meanings, one of which involves stuffed (q.v) animals.

Slit. A narrow aperture with parallel sides.

Crevice. Another aperture - not necessarily as narrow.

Lumps. Wikepedia redirected me to buttocks when I looked this up, so it's probably best left to the imagination. Don't allow me to influence the direction of the mind by references to, for example, School dinners gravy, or Auntie Maud's custard (q.v).

Custard. A cornflour or egg based sauce used in puddings (q.v), or a popular Australian band.

Pudding. The sweet course after dinner.

Stuffed. I've eaten too much.

Thong. Wordth thet to muthic by a thinger.

Bulge. A major world war 2 battle.

Hoar. A fictional Faerūnian demipower deity of the Forgotten Realms campaign setting. He is the deity of revenge, retribution and poetic justice.

Hooker. A position played on a Rugby team.

Sausage. Cured meat product, sometimes cunningly concealed, as in the popular Polish game "hide the sausage".

Flaps. One of the aerodynamic control surfaces on an aircraft.

Lips. An obscure hippie character from The Muppet Show, who was the trumpet player for Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.

Helmet. Legal requirement for motorcyclists in the UK, and also, amusingly, in Israel.

Secrete. To hide something. See Sausage (q.v)

Muff. Woollen garment used for keeping the ears warm.

Nob. Old word for a posh dick.